It’s not an understatement to say that last night I made all my dreams come true: performing on stage to music I produced, to words I wrote, in a show I produced. All the clichés are true, too. It was a long road filled with bursts of inspiration, mired in self-doubt. You have to believe in yourself 100%. You can’t think about what others are going to think. You have to be in the moment. You have to give your all and leave it all on the stage. There’s no holding back.
On my Lyft ride back to my rental, I told my driver my story of how I got to be where I am. And the man teared up. It hit me in that moment all that I’ve accomplished.
- I wrote all the talking points and poetry in the show
- I chose all the songs
- I structured the show
- I came up with all the video concepts
- I did all the costume design
- I choregraphed all the videos and directed some of the videos
- I recreated and produced and arranged all the music (originals by Minnie Riperton)
- I’m laying bare all my anxieties – about my voice, my writing, my singing, my being
- I’m giving a voice to my anxiety
- I’m singing all the songs
- I’m playing all the parts
- It’s just me on stage
It took a stranger asking ordinary question to recognize my extraordinariness. But one thing kept niggling at me: only six people showed up to my show.
I shouldn’t say “only six people” because they all showed the fuck up – laughing, clapping, and encouraging me throughout the show. They were an amazing audience. I felt their positive energy and I hope they felt mine. It was more intimate than a large audience, and it’s not better or worse. It’s different and equally special.
Yes, six people showed up and I still gave it my all. I still showed up for them. I still laid it all out there for them to take or dismiss. I still sang loud and proud. I didn’t hold back.
I hope more people come to my other shows, but I feel that as long those who need to hear my story get to hear it, that I stay authentic and connected, then my work is done.
(And if you haven’t seen it yet: SELFIE: Making It About Me / A Minnie Riperton Cabaret Revue )
My journey is a story of vulnerability. Here is me being vulnerable so you can, too.
Many thanks, too, to all those who helped me:
Director
Karen St-Pierre, SDC
Video team
May May Luong, producer & editor
Traiana Nescheva, director
Ryan Galvan, cinematographer
Q., editor
Friends & advisors
Michelle Ruiz
Karen Merstik-Michaels (vocal coach)
Jesse Chandler (Cabaret advisor)
Nichole Killion
Samia DeCubas
Melissa McCabe
Romie Ruiz